[Subconscious Diving, the Gratuitous Sequel]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[from the most dangerous question ever asked, good thing you can't see nineteen-year-old Ramona's expression looks like she just agreed to step on a landmine]

...do you mean like...as a girl to boy thing or, like, as a dating thing in general?

Comments

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

Totally unimportant. And I only need one more.

[the_ex_in_xp]

"Glad you agree with me."

[and that pause so you can feel dirty about Gideon think you agree on something]

"So you're going to pay a visit to old Scottie, huh? Give him my fondest regards..."

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[whatever, this is dumb and I'm not responding and just heading for door #8.]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[Scott's door opens easily, there's no stick or rust anywhere. On the other side is Toronto, a mix of Sneaky Dee's, Honest Ed's, downtown attractions, houses, and all kinds of landmarks. Where the other doors were enclosed locations, this place is open and limitless, or at least it gives off the optical illusion of being so. You could walk down these neighborhoods for miles and miles and not know where to look.

Good thing you can see Scott walking by just ahead. He looks totally oblivious (like usual) and normal.]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[ugh, this city. And let's see how do I do this in regards to all these things I've been through and how I've been put through the emotional wringer. Hmmm.]

Fuck you, Scott Pilgrim!

[ah, yes. Perfect.]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[Scott Pilgrim, the hero of our story, turns around and points accusingly at you]

Yeah well your face, Roxie Richter!

[he then puts on his robe and wizard hat wristbands and suddenly... racoon tail and ears appear and he starts running/super jumping away.

Also this starts playing. Yeah.]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[...... oh my god this is going to be such bullshit.]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[but I'm the fast one, motherfucker and I'm totally focused on chasing you down >/]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[his jumps are way higher than yours though, and he's using it to scale over buildings complete with all the Mario Bros. noises it can make. Somewhere along the line he runs under the Gilded Palace of Flying Burrito sign and hits every vowel for coins and a red flower that grows on last E.]

"Augh stop being such a Bullet Bill! I need to finish this level!"

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

Shut up, I --

[... waiiiiiit. Grinning wickedly because fuck you, Scott Pilgrim, I was a little girl with an NES once and I know what that flower is. TRYING TO TELEPORT UP TO IT]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[The flower is there, glowing slightly red. Meanwhile Scott is scrambling with his super jumps between two buildings to try and get to it too, but he's a little slower]

Hey! No fair! Breaking means I get dibs! Dibs! Have you no ninja honor!?"

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

"Ninja honor" is a bullshit scam designed to lull stupid people into a false sense of security. And by the way? Half-ninja.

[grabbing the flower :)]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[The grey charcoal sweater you were wearing suddenly turns red and the bottom half of your outfit turns white. You are suddenly filled with a warm sensation building in your hands!



...unfortunately that's not your sudden command of the elements. It's a cut screen flashback where Ramona is walking down the street with Scott hand in hand.]

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

[And it's like Doug all over again. Only now Ramona's gotten so much better at not letting it show and her hand doesn't even tremble]

"...yeah."

[Scott grins, giving a weird shiver that the narration box announces is one of delight. And Ramona is just relieved. Yeah, he pretty much sleeps with a gay guy but it's there. And just like that Scott Pilgrim gets a +1 in Ramona's heart]

"Man, you are such a dork."

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[... so Scott Pilgrim, you know how you were jumping up and trying to get that flower? Yeah. Roxie Richter is trying to hop off of it and just straight-up stomp on you >/]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[...yeah he gets stomped and falls down the alleyway, still reaching out for it]

"Noooooooooo, my Ramona Flower!"

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

Shut up! God, just stop! This isn't even fucking fair, you realize that?

[the_ex_in_xp]

[gets up from that trash heap he landed in]

"Of course it's not fair! You swiped my flower when I had dibs!"

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

She's not yours! What makes you such a viable fucking long-term possibility?

[the_ex_in_xp]

"Because I'm super cool and tough! And I can level grind for hours, I'm totally long-term!"

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[... kicking a garbage can at you, Scott Pilgrim]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[LEAPS! Jumping on it and back up to the sign to pull the flower up even if it's not glowing anymore. It disappears into his inventory.]

"Can you stop trying to kill me, please?"

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

I don't want to kill you, Scott Pilgrim. I just want answers.

[the_ex_in_xp]

"Then stop trying to beat me up! But okay...."

[and just in case you thought things would look like they might go back to normal he does a spin with his tail complete with sound effects]

"What kind of questions do you have for me?"

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[fuck now I have to really think of what I want to ask]

... what does she even see in you? And don't give me some video game bullshit, you're part of her head and that's not the answer.

[the_ex_in_xp]

[...paaaaaaaaauses]

"No video game references? But those are the coolest part!}

[then another long pause. You can actually see the dots of an ellipses floating across the sky]



















"...I don't know."