[Subconscious Diving, the Gratuitous Sequel]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[from the most dangerous question ever asked, good thing you can't see nineteen-year-old Ramona's expression looks like she just agreed to step on a landmine]

...do you mean like...as a girl to boy thing or, like, as a dating thing in general?

Comments

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[... pausing for a long moment and rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly because auuuuuuuugh]

Yeah. Uh. I guess.

[the_ex_in_xp]

Not really smooth, but...it's sweet...

[at the last part, leaning in to give her a serious kiss]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

Look, I wasn't --

[... oh okay that's cool, we can do this, kissing back]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[yeah it's half because she really wanted to kiss you and the other half making sure you don't backpedal out of that nice moment like a pussy

but it's okay because now it's 100% wants to kiss you and is doing so with much enthusiasm]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[I just didn't know how you were going to react okay I'm sorry jeez

And yeah, kissing you like there's no tomorrow (mostly because there really kind of isn't)]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[you should know by now that I react favorably to any sweet gestures no matter how much they fail in execution, I mean...look at Scott...

but hopefully is demonstrating that appreciation by wrapping her arms around you and letting you take the pace due to the intensity of your reaction, because wow it's just been a week, dude...]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[yeah, a week, give or take three or four years. Resting her hands on your hips and gently pulling you towards her bed]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[...yeah that is a pace she is used to, following with a minimum amount of stumbling, don't hit your knee on the bedpost again Ramona, c'mon]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[yeah, she's guiding you a little bit in order to minimize stumbling, it's amazing the things that it turns out you still remember after all this time]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[that and the highlight reel of Ramona's makeout memories from earlier helps as a refresher course

since Roxie's hands are on her hips, moving upward to run her fingers through your hair, and just when they've got the slow dace making out shuffle thing working there's a small rumble

...sort of sounding like it's coming from Ramona's stomach]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[playing with your hair but breaking the kiss]

... Ramona? You okay?

[the_ex_in_xp]

Yeah, I'm fi--

[no, a louder protesting growl from her stomach]

I. Might be a little hungry.

[the_ex_in_xp]

["ONLY ATE A SLICE OF PIZZA AND SALTINE CRACKERS ALL DAY"]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[oh Ramona]

Oh. We could just... order in, or...

[the_ex_in_xp]

No, no, it's fine. I'll just run over to the Chinese place and bring some stuff back for us. It's faster that way. Seriously, their delivery guy sucks. I could do that job in my sleep.

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[smiling to herself, all bittersweet]

Yeah. I bet you'd be pretty good at that.

[the_ex_in_xp]

[giving her a quick kiss and squeezing her hand as she pulls away]

I'll be back soon, okay? We'll pick up right where we left off, I promise.

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[nodding quietly and for a moment almost feeling like she's just going to watch you go, but...]

... Ramona, wait. Let me be weird and sappy one more time, okay? I promise this is the very last one.

[the_ex_in_xp]

Hey, I like this weird and sappy thing...

[but stays, looking at her expectantly]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

Um, it's just... I mean, honestly, I know I'm difficult sometimes. Like, short-tempered and paranoid and I just... sometimes I guess I don't think I deserve to be happy or loved or whatever so I always think that our relationship was like this fluke, you know? Like, that eventually you'd come to your senses and move on and I had to do whatever I could to make sure that didn't happen... and I know a lot of this doesn't make sense and I'm sorry so I'm just going to cut myself off, but just... I love you, okay? I love you so much, and I just...

[and there's something unspoken after that last part, something that Roxie didn't really fully process until she said it herself and god damn it, world, can't I at least get a sword upgrade for this or something :/]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[You get an upgrade in Ramona's feelings, because even if she doesn't consciously know it, the part of her that belongs to you does, and is genuinely smiling even if she's totally flustered at the onrush of FEELINGS]

I'm pretty happy right now, dude.

[Looks like she wants to stay and talk, or go back to making out, or something but...it's only fifteen minutes, and maybe when she gets back the awkward can settle into something nice, or so she justifies it. Instead, she goes for the door, but turns back before she closes it]

And...I love you too, Roxie.

[and the door clicks shut]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[okay, is there a cigarette around here? A cigarette would be greatly appreciated before it's time to move on]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[right where you last left them

also you can swipe some of Ramona's from where she hides them under the printer paper now that she's trying to quit]

[lesbeserious.livejournal.com]

[Taking one of Ramona's then (and don't you call me cheap it's so not about that :|) and lighting it, taking the room in one last time]

[the_ex_in_xp]

[there's something colder about the room now, possibly because it's nearing sunset and the light is fading

the cigarettes seem to have a memory related buzz about them but it seems too faint for just one preoccupied smoke session. since the sweater she got you is still on, maybe you can take the pack with you?

1. Take it, might as well
2. No, smoking kills :(]