the_ex_in_xp: (Large order of...prognosis negative!)
Ramona V. Flowers ([personal profile] the_ex_in_xp) wrote2011-09-12 08:44 pm
Entry tags:

[Subconscious Diving, the Gratuitous Sequel]

[from the most dangerous question ever asked, good thing you can't see nineteen-year-old Ramona's expression looks like she just agreed to step on a landmine]

...do you mean like...as a girl to boy thing or, like, as a dating thing in general?

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
In general.

... and, I mean, I told you it was stupid.

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
[... oh, Ramona. She's not even bothered by the priorities or anything, if anything she's just smiling faintly and wryly.]

Okay. But the next question is a million times stupider and I feel like I should apologize for even asking it.

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
[sort of awkwardly mumbling/whispering her question because oh god oh god oh god am I really going to say this especially with this stupid fucking lump in my throat what the fuck]

... if I turn around right now you're, um. Going to be there, right? I just... I know the answer but I need to hear it, don't ask why.

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that's. That's fair. Just... okay.

[shutting her eyes again and finally making herself half-turn around because you're still attached to her. And after a tense (for her )moment slooowly opening her eyes.]

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
[sighing a little and giving you a quick peck on the lips and laughing awkwardly because ahahahaha oh god that. Whole thing there. THIS IS WHY HAVING FEELINGS SUCKS]

Sorry, I was just... family, you know? It tends to leave me acting weird.

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
[running her free hand through her hair also (aaaaand quickly and ninja-ly undoing her hair bands because even if clearly Ramona's not noticing all the obvious differences between college!Roxie and her present self, that still feels anachronistic)]

Anyway, I don't need to eat for a while. Grabbed a bite en route. How was your break?

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds riveting, sorry to break that party up.

... want me to put some music on? You can choose.

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 07:29 am (UTC)(link)
[considering and holding up Take Offs and Landings by Rilo Kiley]

Maybe this? Unless you'd prefer Sigur Ros...

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
That makes two of us.

[putting it in the stereo and pressing play]

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 08:33 am (UTC)(link)
[... oh god no no no this isn't fair, you don't understand, it's not you it was me, it was always me and I never wanted to fight you, not even when you were frustrating and dammit don't do this, just... if you had talked to me...]

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 08:59 am (UTC)(link)
[Yeah, but it's sort of like watching a horror movie where you know the result and you know everything is doomed and you're the spectator and you can't change it, but there's still that impulse to yell at the characters in the screen to just not go into the fucking creepy ominous woods and just stay alive, damn it! You're going to go on to date way worse people and I'm going to hate myself and binge eat and cut myself off from the world and if we just talked, if we could just stop being us for a while...

God. I'm not going to be able to listen to this album for a long time, huh.]

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 09:23 am (UTC)(link)
[hey, have another moment of stunned silence]

... yeah?

[identity profile] lesbeserious.livejournal.com 2011-09-13 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
I... I kind of am and I'm kind of not. It's really hard to explain. I guess... can I ask you a question? It might be another weird one.